last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
