He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
