Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
