Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
