No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You dont lie about slip and slides
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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