I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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