I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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