Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
