My sheets look like a crime scene.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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