So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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