sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
