Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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