Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
