return my video game
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
