I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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