How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
