Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
