so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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