Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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