Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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