i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The beer is more important than you right now.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
