you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
