I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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