I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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