in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This house was built for laser tag.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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