I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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