Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
