While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
