shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
