she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
