so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
