glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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