Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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