well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
