I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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