Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
