Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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