even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you're hired as official boob wrangler
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
