Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
