I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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