I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
