oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
