Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
