nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This is the high leading the old right now
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
