At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
