I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
