can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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