maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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