She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
