been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
