Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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