he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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