Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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